Laughter, the Best Medicine

When a suburban father arrived home one evening, he was told by his 16 year old daughter that she was taking driver education at school. "Good" said he. "Just don't let your mother help you with your homework".
Readers of Herb Caen's column in the San Francisco Chronicle have been playing a word game about strikes, originated by Agnes Allison. Some of the entries include : The bread truk strike is stalemated ... Longshoremen's talks have run aground ... Printers have inked a new contract ... Musicians are still trying to strike accord ... An aluminium strike has been foiled ... Striking garment workers are striking the issue ... The painters union accuses management of white wash ... Salmon fishermen are dead loxed ... Upholsterers are demanding fringe benefits ... Nurses claim obstetricians fail to deliver ... Tree surgeons are out on a limb after talks break off. Meat is getting to expensive that one housewife bought a Swiss steak that had a secret bannk account number.
A man about to have an operation was nervous. "There's no reason to worry," a nurse told him. "The doctor has seen an operation just like yours on television."
"Nobody likes me at school," said the son. "The teachers don't, and the kids don't. The superintendent wants to transfer me, the bus drivers hate me, and the custodians have it in for me. I don't want to go." "You have to go," insisted the mother. "You're healthy. You have a lot to learn. You've got something to offer others. You are a leader. Besides, you are 49 yeras old. You're the principal, and you have to go to school."
Have you tried the Paul Revere cocktail? Drink one, and you start horsing around and waking the neighbors.
She : "Sometimes my father takes things apart to see why they don't go."
He : "So?"
She : "So you'd better go."
Once, when Lura, the Duchess of Killarney, was vacationing in the Ural Mountains, friends invited her to go along on an extended horseback excursion through the region. Having spent the preceding day sun bathing in the buff, with the intent of equalizing her fashionable tan, she had suffered a painful burn on the area usually protected by her bikini. Now, too shy to tell her friends the truth, but reluctant to excuse herself with an outright falsehood, she asked her husband whether he thought she had perhaps recovered sufficiently to go on the ride. He inspected the burned area and shook his head. "Tour all Ural, Lura?" he said. "Too raw, Lura. Lie!"
A mother mouse and her baby were scampering accros a polished floor when they heard a noise. They hoped it would be a human being, but it turned out to be the family cat. Upon seeing the mice, the cat gave chase. Mama Mouse felt a swife of paw and claw. She turned in her tracks and called out in her loudest voice: "Bow wow!" The cat ran off. Gathering her baby to her, and catching her breath, Mama Mouse explained, "Now, my child, you see how important a second language is."
A texan was showing some important people around his ranch, and casually mentioned that he had 3000 head of cattle. "But," he was reminded, "nearly everybody in Texas has least 3000 cattle." "In the deep freeze?" asked the Texan icily.
Two women were chatting at the beauty parlor. One confided, "My niece is getting a formal education. She's wearing shoes and a bra to school."
Over dinner one evening, a suburban housewife told her husband, "A wonderful thing happened this morning. A man knocked on the door and, when I asked who he was, he replied, "A bill collector. So I gave him the stack that was on your desk."
One day in March, a couple who had drifted away from their Jewish customs were being visited by the wife's Orthodox father. Their son, a college student, couldn't resist teasing his grandfather a bit. "Grandpa," he said, It's St. Patrick's Day, but yuo're not wearing anything green." "Me?" asked the surprised grandfather. "I'm not Irish." "Oh, I know that," the youth said. "But on St. Patrick's Day everybody feels a kinship with the Irish. It's a sort of gesture of goodwill." The old man thought about that for a little while. Then he said, "Yes, I see what you mean. A gesture of goodwill - just like all you nice college boys growing beards and long sideburns so you'll look like Orthodox Jews. Could you lend me, perhaps, a green necktie?"

Source from Reader's Digest, March 1974

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1 Comment:

Astaga.com Lifestyle On The Net said...

Kasihan nih artikel gak pernah ada komentarnya, he he he

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